Little Rabbit Writes
Sleeping Pill. Part Two.
I'm going to pick up where I left off (five years ago.)
Five years ago, when Adèle was just two, I was struggling with the wish to continue co-sleeping with her and the little voice inside me that told me it was time for her to move on. That voice may have also been my husband, but sometimes in marriage you ignore the needs of your spouse. I'm not saying it's right. It just happens.
Right before a pandemic became a thing we all needed to carry, we had had a serious discussion about finally moving her back into her own bedroom. I had even set up a small TV for me to watch in there as I planned to transition her by sleeping with her in the "big girl bed." I brought all my night time toiletries and vitamins and anti-anxiety prescriptions with me and tucked them away in a drawer on my side of the bed in her room. We would stay this way for a little while until she was ready for me to leave.
And then, sometime in early March, I put her and my son on the bus for the last time this school year. We had two last teacher conferences where we were told they were both thriving and had lovely friends. They were great readers! We said goodbye and picked up a Chromebook. I googled home-school schedules. I googled "cases by country." Then, I googled "cases by State." I called my doctor for a refill of my medication and my Amazon order list was full of multi-vitamins, and wet-wipes, and nose saline, and elderberry gummies.
My small business just stopped (temporarily) as a wave of fear and uncertainty washed over all of us.
It all just stopped, really. Everything normal and comforting I had known. All the things I was used to in my daily life were turned upside down as one never-ending snow day placed our family of four within the same walls week after week.
Five years ago, I called Adèle my "sleeping pill." I started doing that because having her near me brought a sense of calm and quiet. (As a small aside, we began bed-sharing when she suffered from several febrile seizures in her crib before the age of one.)
It's so hard to let go of something that was from *before.* Before all the change and before my son cried in his room and my daughter was palpably lonely for friends. Before. When I felt like a good Mom.
Around April, I asked my husband if it would be okay to put a pin in working to transition her to sleeping in her own room. I needed our old space. And I needed HIM, too. I needed *before.*
So, now she is seven and we are in the middle of *this* and she is still in our bed. Taking up room, needing an arm to rest her head on. Five years later...here we are, sleeping unchanged as everything still feels like it's unraveling. The same.
Behind the Brand: Little Rabbit Wears
Recently, an awesome mommy blogger featured LRW on her amazing site, www.cuddlesandchaos.com
Take a look to learn a little more about me, Janine, and Little Rabbit Wears http://cuddlesandchaos.com/behind-the-brand-little-rabbit-wears/
- Janine Manley
Mommy confession: Up until last night, my 19 month old girl had been sleeping in our bed for the past couple of months.
With my older son, I never let this happen. In fact, I was really against co-sleeping until Adèle started having febrile seizures. This scared the living daylights out of me, and since it always seemed to happen in her crib (thank God for the video monitor), I felt safer with her next to me. I could reach over and feel her forehead and make sure she wasn't running a fever. I could hear and feel her breathing. I fell asleep with the smell of Johnson and Johnson's Night time Lotion...she was my drug I said. I needed her there as much as she needed me. She curled up on her own pillow in between me and my husband and would wake up a few times in the night to feel for me and flop her head down on my chest, or tuck herself into my armpit. It was a closeness I never experienced with my little boy, and to wake up with her face smiling directly in my face was my coffee.
We set her up in her new toddler bed yesterday since, lately, Adèle had become a "flight risk" as we call it. She took off running around the house at bedtime instead of settling down and snuggling.
Long story short, she wasn't getting the sleep she needed, and bedtime was taking a toll on me and TJ.
I miss her in our bed already. And man, am I tired today. She was my sleep drug.
- Janine Manley
And the Winners Are...
- Janine Manley
Mama, French Teacher, Entrepreneur, Rookie Baker, and Compulsive Shopper...
I'm Janine. My Pinterest boards comprise of the following:
- Babies/Kiddies. Musts, wants, and haves ( Products, schmoozy tumblr quotes, room ideas etc 151 pins)
- Fried Stuff with Cheese (Friends allusion/every food I feel guilty after eating and 131 pins)
- La Classe de Français ( Work stuff...real work, I guess? 256 pins)
- Being Young (An ode to my youth circa 1980-1995/every toy I had, wish I had, should have never had. 44 pins)
- Holidays (Self Explanatory 13 pins)
- It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (A Christmas board that could really be condensed into the Holidays board. 13 pins.)
- Little Rabbit Wears (I always forget to pin when I add a new listing. I should get on that. 94 pins)
- Downton Abbey/Deco hat Inspiration ( Swatches, hat ideas, pattern obsession. 19 pins)
- French Interactive Notebook ( For these interactive notebooks we are all supposed to be doing. I only have 10 pins and should just abandon this board.)
- Adèle's 1st ( My daughter turned 1 last June, and these were the things that turned her party into a 'carnival' as one friend described. 22 pins)
Follow me if you like! www.pinterest.com/thelittlerabbit
And this is me and my kids. I think this photo sums being a mum of two pretty well. TJ, my husband, is the photographer here and is probably glad I didn't post him on the internet, anyway:
- Janine Manley